trapped in labels

mother. Leader. Bitch. Introvert.

As women we get put in so many different roles that come with a host of expectations. These roles start in childhood with our parents but build upon us as we make friends, venture into society and even get married. The weight of these expectations can be overwhelming, if not unbearable.

But the worst part is, we allow it. We often don’t even realize the labels we are carrying and how we let them limit us. Without awareness and effort, these labels can end up feeling like a cage.

Stop getting stuck in labels.

The important thing to remember is: the labels themselves are neither good nor bad. They are just words, categories. Humans use words to try to express and explain their life experience and convey it to other humans.

But the problem is, these words and categories are not as expansive as we are. Sort of like a game of telephone, we each attach slightly different meaning to the words until their definitions are so muddied they lose their value.

In other words, we all define these labels differently and so when we hear them, we assume different things about the person that may or may not be true. Often we also attach a “goodness” or “badness” to them as well.

Let me give you an example. What comes to mind when you hear the following words:

• wise

• hippie

• challenge

Wise

Wisdom is often defined as experienced and knowledgeable. However, wise can also be used to describe the aged or someone who tells frequently jokes or mouths-off. Sometimes it is reserved solely for older gentlemen or religious icons. Or maybe your gut response was an owl or a story about 3 men from the Bible.

Hippie

The word “hippie” might be used to describe someone who free-loads, is unreliable, loves flowers and/or smells funny. However, a hippie might instead be someone who is full of self-expression, in tune with nature, and/or avoids the toxins in commercial products.

Challenge

And a challenge might be perceived as an affirmation of potential and an opening of doors, but it might also be considered a hard limit on your abilities and options. Or maybe a challenging person has a mental or physical handicap, a behavior disorder, or has high expectations and firm boundaries.

The point is, words are just words. And, while they can be quite powerful,

Words can’t limit you unless you let them.

In a perfect world, we might ditch all labels - and that expansiveness might be our future - but for now let’s focus on climbing out of the boxes we’ve been put in by others and redefine the labels we CHOOSE carry.

Who are you?

Who do you want to be?

It’s totally ok if you don’t know.

In fact, it is a fluid thing and will always be changing.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to figure it out.